I canceled my leave request from work for the wedding. I am very hurt and I am not sure where I stand, though no one has insinuated that I have done anything wrong. Is it wrong for me to not send a wedding gift? I also know the bride, as they all graduated together in our small town. The groom refuses to tell me what happened, but he has disinvited me from the wedding. I won't pry, as these boys are now adults, but apparently, there was some kind of falling-out between him and my son. I thought of him as my "Bonus Son." I also became friends with his mother, who had no problem with me treating him like another son. I would even make him special dinners if he requested them. This was not just a casual friend, but one who spent a lot of time in my home. View CommentsÄEAR MISS MANNERS: I was invited to the wedding of a friend of my son's from high school. The trick is to fold them just nicely enough to look tidy, but not so neat that the host will mistake the set for clean ones - and then unwittingly remake the bed with dirty sheets. Proper overnight protocol is to strip the bed, put the bed cover back on it and put the folded sheets on top of the cover at the bottom of the bed. Miss Manners will concede, however, that starting the washing machine without asking is an overstep. GENTLE READER: How about teaching you not to presume unkind motives where none are intended? Your guests are merely trying to lessen your burden and pitch in - not to criticize your home care and hygiene. I was always taught that while it's important to be a gracious host, it's also important to be a gracious guest. My wife disagrees and says they're only trying to be helpful, but I wonder if they don't trust us to wash the sheets between guests. I find it insulting that they act as if we're the kind of hosts that would expect them to do this.
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